I do not know. I did not count.
Years of mystery.
Days of frustration.
Moments of ecstasy.
Only when I had stopped searching, investigating, and purely let it consume me for what it was, did the answer finally come.
Not in words, though.
It's His heart being sewn to mine.
It's His spirit alive within me, turning, burning, breathing, moving.
It's His unrestrained passion for me dripping like honey from His fingertips as he carresses my soul.
It's His desire to give me heavenly pleasures for no reason other than to romance my heart and delight in me.
Once, in the begining, I did not have words to describe it.
Now, I have many:
I've never taken drugs, but I'm pretty sure that this ecstasy surpasses any high that man can manufacture.
I've never been struck by lightening, but I'm pretty sure that if lightening could happen within a small, contained space like the human body, this is what it would feel like.
I've never been kissed. Kissing was God's idea, and judging by the bliss I feel when His spirit kisses my soul, I've got something to look foreward to.